Week 78
View from the Houseboats
One item on my to-do list is to take stock and rebalance things in my life. Since having Theo, it seems I need to do this at least quarterly, if not more frequently. Partly because young kids and their needs change so darn fast. Partly because I can get too wrapped into my work to-do list and begin sacrificing things that are important, like exercise and sleep. Partly because responsibilities and projects at work change, and require reconfiguration based on new iterations of standing meetings or role responsibilities.
With a few days of absolutely perfect fall weather in Sausalito (not happening today, alas), I’ve had more motivation for self-care. I’ve been trying to run more because my bike needs a tune-up to stop gear grinding, but I haven’t yet motivated to make that appointment. And I’ve found a few moments to re-introduce meditation, either while Theo’s having his bath and the sun’s going down, or when I find a spare 5 minutes before a meeting starts. So far I’ve been reminded that my brain is doing a lot of spiraling, trying to keep track of all the to-dos, which tells me several things. 1) I need more written to-do lists. 2) I need to practice the type of meditation where I try to be aware of the thinking, noting and letting go and coming back to the breath. 3) I need more small goals and structures. Thursday I used some blocked off writing time for 10 minutes of meditation, then set a 30 min writing timer. I noticed my brain (and actions) wandered off after 15 minutes, so maybe next time I’ll set a 15-minute timer. I don’t often do that intense support for myself writing, but this week I needed something extra.
I had two different peer-support meetings this morning, and it reminded me (again) of the power of normalization and shared experience. Of not feeling so lonely and stuck in our own heads. And as I reminded (myself) my colleague, part of our job is learning to recognize and manage these feelings, like imposter syndrome rearing its head in times of job searches or job precarity or when research is going poorly or just stuck in the doldrums. The advantage of being a little further in my career is I’m getting better at saying “ah yes, you again. Let’s see, how did I manage this last time?”. And I’m getting better at borrowing the judgements of my friends and colleagues, rather than my own harsher self-judgements.
Interesting things on the internet
For UCSF Department of Medicine people: give feedback on pandemic life
One set of rubrics for thinking about childcare and school amid Delta
Post from me on Supporting the grieving
How to write a paper, as an infographic
Guide for reviewing manuscripts
Better life lab experiments, which include data on how couples and parents share the mental load of running households
TV Recommendation
I’ve been watching the last two seasons of Madame Secretary in the evenings after Theo goes to bed this week and it’s such a satisfying, yet alarmingly topical, re-write of major issues over the last few years. And a phenomenal portrayal of a woman leader, often triumphing, but also often coming up against misogyny.
Hoping you and yours are well
Krista