Pandemic Reflections

A source of support.

When the first Bay Area shelter-in-place started March 16, 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic, it felt lonely and disorienting and pretty awful having no childcare for our 3yo with 2 full time working parents. In week 2, I sent an email to people with whom I worked closely, honoring this feeling and sharing some coping strategies I was using to create a sense of solidarity and support. This became a weekly ritual that grew over time.

In the emails, I shared a little bit about what was happening in my household as a way of normalizing the massive changes, shared strategies we were using to cope, and things I was grateful for despite everything. I invited people to reply for support and connection and to aid with professional accountability and motivation. Slowly and sporadically I invited others to join the list. Eventually, I decided the simplest way to allow people to join as they found content useful (or to opt-out if content did not resonate) was to create a newsletter and website. For the archived letters from 2020, I’ve done some light editing to provide additional context, or to remove my weekly goals. Not all have been uploaded yet, but I’ll get there eventually.

In 2021, the weekly letter has evolved into aggregations of many of my mentoring and peer-mentoring conversations. They still touch on methods I’m using to remain a whole, semi-balanced person amid parenting, grieving, and being an early/mid-career academic researcher.

In 2022, the weekly letter became a little more sporadic, but still shared reflections on things happening locally and broadly.

 
 
Week 58
Krista Harrison Krista Harrison

Week 58

I am angry and I am tired. There was accountability and immediately another murder of a child.


When I get overwhelmed and angry, I get aggressive and impatient – all hard edges, no soft edges. I don’t want to be nice and supportive. I want to be pity and cutting and clear. I want people to do their jobs the way I would do their jobs. It takes a lot of extra edit to add any degree of softness back in.

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Week 39
Krista Harrison Krista Harrison

Week 39

“Everything’s fine, we’re fine, it’s all fine”, as my second-choice holiday card said. Things really are fine, and a bit hectic. I’m doing the best I can to take pressure off wherever I can (e.g. my goal is to send New Year cards before March 2021). For those of you celebrating Hanukkah or other non-Christmas holidays, I recognize the ubiquity of Christmas stuff may be frustrating and overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to fit it in without dedicated time off. For those of you preparing for Christmas, best of luck navigating this season of shipping deadlines and mystery packages.

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Week 29
Krista Harrison Krista Harrison

Week 29

How are you? No really – how are you really? Take a breath – what are you feeling? Some weeks I don’t know what words to use to describe the state of things around us, never mind my inside state. The Glass Fires and threat of smoke has been impacting me. The debate. The extra emails and texts from the groups and individuals I’ve donated to. Wanting to do more for the election and yet not quite organizing my life to make it feasible. The to-do list I keep reordering because I haven’t had the bandwidth for certain types of writing/thinking this week.

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Week 26
Krista Harrison Krista Harrison

Week 26

Today the anniversary of 9/11, when ~2,000 Americans died, in the middle of the pandemic where nearly 200,000 Americans died, in a week that included incredible heat over the weekend, the disturbing Wednesday fireskies, and now AQI of over 200 in Sausalito. In one sense, we are ok at our house – we relied on fans and TV to get through the heat over the weekend, closed the curtains during Orange Wednesday, and our air filter is running constantly. We still have jobs, Theo still has preschool, we still have our home that we enjoy. On the other hand – this is all quietly emotionally challenging, particularly heading into the most important election, perhaps ever.

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