
Pandemic Reflections
A source of support.
When the first Bay Area shelter-in-place started March 16, 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic, it felt lonely and disorienting and pretty awful having no childcare for our 3yo with 2 full time working parents. In week 2, I sent an email to people with whom I worked closely, honoring this feeling and sharing some coping strategies I was using to create a sense of solidarity and support. This became a weekly ritual that grew over time.
In the emails, I shared a little bit about what was happening in my household as a way of normalizing the massive changes, shared strategies we were using to cope, and things I was grateful for despite everything. I invited people to reply for support and connection and to aid with professional accountability and motivation. Slowly and sporadically I invited others to join the list. Eventually, I decided the simplest way to allow people to join as they found content useful (or to opt-out if content did not resonate) was to create a newsletter and website. For the archived letters from 2020, I’ve done some light editing to provide additional context, or to remove my weekly goals. Not all have been uploaded yet, but I’ll get there eventually.
In 2021, the weekly letter has evolved into aggregations of many of my mentoring and peer-mentoring conversations. They still touch on methods I’m using to remain a whole, semi-balanced person amid parenting, grieving, and being an early/mid-career academic researcher.
In 2022, the weekly letter became a little more sporadic, but still shared reflections on things happening locally and broadly.

Week 52
Thursday was not my father’s 71st birthday. I had rough plans for how I wanted to honor the day. …This is approximately what I was doing a year ago, when WHO declared the pandemic and a few days before the shelter-in-place started. I haven’t yet watched the UCSF DOM Grand Rounds honoring the anniversary. But I remember those first few weeks feeling a bit like the shock after sudden loss, the sense of being unmoored and wanting reassurance.

Week 3
This week was more of an emotional rollercoaster for us. Thursday was the 1-year anniversary of my much-loved stepfather dying. In this locked-down world, I've had trouble honoring that anniversary in ways that felt satisfying. I spent Wednesday and Thursday helping prepare my next-door neighbor's house for hospice delivering a hospital bed and other equipment. He was diagnosed with advanced esophageal cancer only a month or two ago, and it's moved fast. We are affected more than we expected, knowing our wonderful life-filled musician and friend is dying next door. We're also moving into the next round of COVID cancellations: not being able to attend my cousin's funeral, the likelihood of another cousin's wedding being postponed