Week 31
View from the houseboats
This was the first time I took more than 1-2 days off since March. For me, the primary benefits of time off right now are 1) the creativity of thought that comes from unstructured time, 2) space for thinking and emotional processing, and 3) more exercise. The downsides were that the change in routine made family life a bit more difficult.
Theo is also in another phase of sleep issues, which is just brutal – takes up a lot of time and everyone’s overtired. We’re trying to reinvent the evening routine, which will mean earlier pickup from daycare, and night 1 of attempting sleep schedule change took 2+h of effort to get Theo to sleep after the light went out.
Grief tides continue to be high; I’m trying to accept them rather than fight them. I’ve got another week off scheduled for the first week of November, around the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s accident and death and Theo’s 4th birthday. For that time off I think I’ll aim to delete apps from my phone (email, twitter, instagram) and write a daily schedule and post it on the fridge.
Gratitude/appreciation
I could actually take the whole week off as planned because my job talk for series change was rescheduled to mid-November.
I got outside every day for a long hike or bike ride (no sails due to tides and wind not lining up properly)
My spouse used his connections to borrow a demo bike for me to try mountain biking with him (different muscles but fun enough once I got the hang of it).
Published an editorial in JAMA. And tweeted about it.
(Re)Learnings and observations
Things to read: I continue to remember why I love Resilient Grieving by Lena Hone. I find her strategies for managing grief and (re)building resilience validating. She talks about the importance of identifying your strengths, and recommends the Values In Action (VIA) survey. I recommend it to anyone who works in geriatrics or palliative care, as well as anyone bereaved, because I think the tips are so practical. I’ve been reading a few pages every day, along with Pema Chodron.
Things to listen to: On Being podcast with poet Mary Oliver, who is beloved by many but also spent much of her life on Cape Cod, where I grew up.
Towards resilience work: I was invited to join a seminar of pal care researchers (mostly trainees/fellows) on resilience and they shared this great tool for identifying emotions.
Creating a safe environment for feedback: Some of the great advice you’ve sent includes starting with curiosity (before critique), stressing it is even more effective when it starts with/is modeled by leaders/senior people. As I’ve continued to think about this too, I’ve come back to the concept of procedural justice in ethics: when you have systematic ways of making decisions and make those frameworks transparent, people rely less on heuristics (hopefully reducing impact of implicit biases).
Anti-oppression, anti-racism actions: More donations, more reading of Tressie McMillian Cottom, supporting Division actions to be more inclusive (actually joined a couple faculty meetings to support this goal this week despite vacation).
Things I’m looking forward to
The day when new routines lead to better/more sleep for all.
Less than 90 degree weather
Update on goals from last week
Regular work: Job talk Postponed.
Passion project: On hold. Edited both essays, because I wanted to.
Whole-self-care: Taking time off! Hike 4x, bike 3x, journal 4x
Small goals for next week
(not my whole to-do list…the things I will be frustrated if I don’t do)
Regular work: Job talk drafting, plus using the NCFDD 14-day writing challenge to make progress on Prion paper(s)
Passion project: Revise, aim to submit first week of November.
Whole-self-care: Meditate 3x
As in past weeks, I invite you to report in on your wellbeing, share your small goals for next week, report in on your progress from last week's goals.
Thinking of you and hoping you and your loved ones stay healthy and safe.
Krista