Week 107

View from the Houseboats 

I’m about to head out the door for a weekend of a last-minute assembly of ways to celebrate my 40th birthday. Our ability to plan ahead for this time has been…non-existent…not least because the next three days include the anniversary of my mother’s move out here, the anniversary of Larry’s death in 2019, and my birthday. Theo’s also been having a tough time at school, and we’re trying to figure out how to support him and his teachers. Our ongoing efforts to buy a home continue to be an emotional rollercoaster and massive drain on our time and energy. Thanks to those of you who have gently encouraged finding ways to celebrate that feel sufficiently satisfying.  

A plan has come together! My mother is taking Theo for the weekend. We are going a few hours north to a hot springs overnight, and then tomorrow night going for a fancy late-night dinner in the city, and on my actual birthday an early fancy sushi dinner in Sausalito. In between, we aim for hiking, biking, reflection, and relaxation.  

My feelings about this birthday are complicated. The ones I’ll share are that I’m glad for the chance to grow older, and for the confidence that comes with this stage of life and career. 

Gratitude 

• A remarkably social week last week, that including a lunch with friends, a hike with a friend, dinner with friends, and a visit with my dad’s 94-year old aunt and uncle, who flew in from Massachusetts to visit their kids in the Bay Area, and their daughter (my cousin)

• A research paper was published that I started working on 4 years ago and found a large number of ways to do things wrong along the way. 

• WaPo article about hospice for people with dementia that I was quoted in, written by a fellow Williams alum 

• That my mother and neighbors are able to help us with Theo so that we can get some breaks and restoration time, even amid their own complexity

• That I blocked 4 days off on my work calendar so that I was able to be more flexible with my schedule, enabling things like a mid-day activity with my mother yesterday and a morning outdoor bike ride today

Interesting things on the internet 

• From our inspirational Geriatrics Grand Rounds speaker last week – artist, writer and gerontologist Dr. Anne Basting:

  • An interview with her about beautiful questions to ask 

  • A Next Avenue article she wrote on why arts are key to dementia care 

  • The nonprofit she founded, TimeSlips Creative Storytelling

• A podcast on interoception – how to understand and interpret sensations from one’s own body - from a podcast that honors autism and neurodiversity 

• Actualizing Better Health And Health Care For Older Adults

• A critique of Dr. Emily Oster’s foray into public health epidemiology and implications for schools 

• How long should grief last? 

• My posts about building the new and accountability tricks

Hoping you are finding ways to celebrate the good things, even when mixed with the complicated and hard.