Week 102

View from the Houseboats

There is so much awfulness in the news right now: the invasion of Ukraine and domestically, anti-trans and anti-gay legislation. Some bright spots: the choice of Ketanji Brown Jackson as Supreme Court nominee, Black History Month affirmations, potential rain this week in the Bay Area. Regarding the new CDC guidance about the pandemic, I will say our family will continue to wear our KN95s inside as we continue to want to avoid getting covid if we can – we aren’t the only ones thinking along these lines. However, we did go out for pizza (outside, thanks to California weather) Friday night at Theo’s request, and he was incandescent with excitement.

This was a tough week for me, as, amid everything else, I learned about the death of a close friend’s mother and attended a zoom memorial for a classmate from my doctoral program. I am proud that I motivated to exercise regardless, to honor the boundaries I’m setting myself (saying no to opportunities based on the rules I’ve been creating for myself), giving myself space to feel things and finding that the writing flowed faster after, meaning I checked a few things off my to-do list. I recruited friends for moral support and it helped. I was grateful too, for the vulnerability of those more senior to me, sharing what helped them regain stability against the oversized need around us: canceling meetings, and celebrating successes in outsized ways.

On the home front, Theo has continued his intense interest in big cats, making detailed illustrations after bedtime and dictating the words for us to write into the books in the morning. Granted, at this moment he seems to be wearing a stormtrooper costume with shorts on top, with a bright green STEM cape, a broom and a cardboard and tinfoil shield, and he’s whacking the heck out of his hammock. Wishing you as much creativity, play, and outlets for frustration.

Gratitude

• The strength to recognize a role not working for me at this point in my life, and asking for that role to be passed to another

• The fortitude to keep bashing our heads against the Bay Area housing market (despite realizing the time invested could have been an R01 grant instead)

• The nightly preparation that led to getting up 3 days at 5 to spin inside (e.g. so I didn’t have to spend energy debating the decision)

• The ability of my mother to convince an obstreperous Theo to hang out with her for a few hours so Sam and I could get in a date hike

• A new dinner recipe to try for family dinner, and “leopard brownies” (marbled vanilla and chocolate) for dessert courtesy of Theo and my mom

Interesting things on the internet

• The wordless place

• The age of anti-ambition

• Physical signs of burnout/extreme ongoing stress and how to counteract them

• Illustrated tropes about parenting double standards in heterosexual relationships

• The challenge of making friends mid-life

• And the difficulty – and importance – of keeping friends throughout our lives

• Online version of the Upaya GRACE training for clinicians and changemakers harmed or exhausted by the pandemic

• How to act on racism rather than race in medicine

• Advice for supporting a grieving friend

Small goals for next week

• Wellness: make a plan for using my PTO the following week, 3x cardio

• First author: draft revise & resubmit and send to coauthors

• Service: review 2 grants

How are you managing in this overwhelming time? How are you bringing light against the darkness?

Krista