Week 69
View from the houseboats
Plan A for the week involved leveraging open blocks on my calendar to make some progress on my writing. Plan B involved changes in which projects I was focusing on. Plan C ended up being using some of Thursday to take a dive into learning about how to buy a home – not with certainty that we will, or that we could. But knowing that we can’t buy a house if we don’t try.
I could draw analogies with trying to start a research project that uses a method that’s new to me. I’ve spent a lot of time dreading starting, thinking about how I know how to execute the current method better. I have a few false starts where I get overwhelmed by all the things I don’t know. And then finally plunge in and make some real progress. (Hopefully this is not how it seems on the outside, but yes, this is how it feels internally).
It can be frustrating at times, how my career path in academia and generation (“geriatric” millennial or Oregon Trail generation) means that I’m nearly 40 and only now have been in a situation where buying a home is even close to feasible, and that only because of the privilege of family members being able to help with down payments. This is the first house (and city) I’ve lived in for longer than 4 years in a row since I was 18 (and I’m quite resistant to changes in my living circumstances). We've been slowly gathering information and advice from friends over the last 5 months. Thursday, we finally used our lunch hour to finalize a pre-approval for a loan (having submitted the paperwork over a month ago)…and then we saw a house we liked online, arranged my mom to put Theo to bed so we could go see it, got the name of a realtor from a friend, and talked to the realtor about how one puts in offers. Huge learnings and massive adrenaline rushes. Given the market (and lack of timeline), we’re holding everything very lightly and chalking up everything to a learning experience. But it feels good to even have figured out this much, like having a rough first draft of a manuscript.
Sometimes I ask myself: why am I sharing this with all of you? Well, first, because it’s on my mind, and second, because even though I have not yet organized these letters thematically, this is part of the work-life integration and insider look at life as faculty in academia that it seems potentially valuable to share, even though I am an n of 1.
The switch from Plan A to Plan B for writing occurred on Wednesday when unexpectedly I received two pieces of encouraging feedback on my personal writing (not my research papers). I had been voluntold to give a (low stakes) presentation where I ended up talking a bit about my research and a bit about my Health Affairs essay and got some great questions and ideas. Then I got connected with a professor and writer who just wrote a book, which was a helpful contact. On the same day I happened to get some great feedback from a friend about another personal essay I’ve been struggling with for two years, that made me both feel better about it and gave me clarity about changes to make. Per my extended metaphor earlier, these personal essays are a whole different writing style, so I don’t have as much practice figuring out their anatomy or when they are ready for submission. I’ve had fewer meetings this week, and interestingly, it’s made me feel like I could use a 2-3 week writing retreat to clear some things off my plate. Several of my projects feels like they need a day or two to finalize and submit. Others need a few days to draft, revise, and send to coauthors.
Somewhere amidst all these intellectual thoughts, physically things have felt odd. Perhaps a mild cold, or uptick in allergies (despite the substantial allergy meds I’ve been taking since January), perhaps I tweaked some muscle that has caused a cascade of badness. I’ve done more yoga, but I also spent Thursday working sitting on the floor and stretching. After Theo re-entered daycare last summer and I could actually work all day, I invested in this great floor-to-standing adjustable desk, which I don’t adjust that often but have loved for the way it’s given me a rolling office that feels oddly cozy. Today is a rare sunny summer morning, so I'm headed out to exercise momentarily.
A few things to read/watch:
The preface of a forthcoming book, Finding the Right Words, a collaboration between a CalTech Prof 2018 Atlantic Fellow at GBHI and Bruce Miller (if this appeals to you, I recommend buying from your local independent bookstore).
I don’t remember why I re-found this post from June 2020, but a NYT article on resilience
Dr. Kemi Doll’s latest podcast on How to Raise Your Standards and Find Your People
Immersive Van Gogh exhibit in SF I hear is amazing (including for kids) and tickets have been extended through September – this is my note to self to make a reservation
Here’s hoping you and yours are well.
Krista