Week 127
The last 20 days have been full of ordinary challenges. We spent from July 30-August 9th visiting my extended family and friends on the East Coast. Then from August 9th-16th our childcare fell through and we canceled planned work. On the 17th-19th Theo started kindergarten at the local public school. Work re-entry has been it’s own interesting experience.
The trip was maybe 15% type 1 fun (actual fun in the moment), 35% type 2 fun (things we’ll look back on fondly), 25% logistics/negotiation/organization, and 15% hard (and 10% work intrusions). We achieved our goal of re-introducing Theo to our East Coast family and friends (while avoiding covid). Our return was harder than anticipated, including emergency trips to the vet. The extra bandwidth from the time away meant it felt easier to postpone meetings when childcare fell through.
In retrospect, I wish I had postponed all my meetings this week and at the start of next week. Once I started working again, I realized my workload was unfeasible (the Surface Pressure song feels too on-point). In addition, my emotional state made it harder as I’ve had minimal alone time, exercise time, or time to process all that has happened this month.
How did I get into this situation of work overload (again)? Partly a bad habit, party because I didn’t ask enough questions about what some of my current leadership positions would actually entail, and partly because I never am pessimistic enough in guessing margins of error. I came across great advice in this newsletter by a fellow academic parent and the HBR article she references: to ask yourself 1) what’s in it for me (new skills, new relationships, salary support that matches effort), 2) do I have the bandwidth (with a 20% margin for error), and 3) what will I have to give up to take this on?
I used my awareness of my emotional response to start making changes to my workload. Though I wish I had handled some meetings better, I am glad I started asking for help, creating alternative strategies, and changing expectations and timelines. More so, I’m glad that my colleagues and mentors met me with willingness and ability to help – that in and of itself is privilege these days.
Why am I writing this missive today? Because we spent a lazy Saturday morning in pajamas and I needed this time to unwind and process where things landed and where they are headed. And then it took me a few hours to post because Theo wanted to act out being a veterinarian (after watching Secrets of the Zoo) using art clips as pretend walkie talkies, a broken bike rack as an X-Ray, and an Ikea play tent as a CT – we “extracted” a fungus from the cat’s belly and handcuffs and a spoon from the dog. Now off to the park.
Gratitude
Dock party last night that involved many giggles, surprise glowsticks, and a delightfully late summer night
Theo enjoying kindergarten (and especially aftercare) so far.
Mentors & colleagues who are empathic, understanding, able and willing to help
Collaborators & mentees who are a delight to work with
The sunny, not foggy, temperate weather of Sausalito right now
That this Saturday morning has been lazy in our house