Practicing saying “no

Curating our to-do list, staying focused, is something we have to practice, as if we are flexing the “no” muscle.

I have had a few invites for new opportunities arise recently, and I really struggled with saying no to one of them. I ended up running the idea by a few different people – mentors, peers, and others – in an attempt to both get feedback and figure out why I was having trouble saying pressing send on the drafted email saying no. I suspect the real answer is that I need to do another round of envisioning what I want the next 3-5-10 years of my career to look like so that I have clearer guidelines for what feeds into that vision and what’s a distraction – because I have changed so much over the prior couple years.

At times I use a “no” committee. When I get a request, I send it to one (or all) of a handful of mentors, advisors, and friends at different stages of career who I have asked me to help me be more careful of what new opportunities I take on.

I also try to think about what I would have to give up to say yes to something. Would I give up sleep? Exercise? Time with my family? Would I have time to do it tomorrow? If not, what makes me think next week or 6 months from now will be much different?

What are your favorite strategies to practice saying no?