Physical manifestations of grief and stress

Stress and anxiety is not always visible or consciously experienced.

Early in the pandemic, I was reading about kids reacting to stress. and sleeping issues were one example, as was enacting superhero stories (both very prominent in our family). Canker sores were another example, which manifested for me in the first week of the pandemic, even though I wasn't consciously noticing stress. I've also heard many stories of kids or parents being extraordinarily clumsy, which is another sign.

The first year after my father died, I was surprised to find I could judge when the monthly anniversary of his death was approaching just by how I was feeling internally, not just the calendar date. My body knew, even if my brain hadn’t caught up yet.

Be on the lookout for signs of unacknowledged grief and stress (anger and fatigue being classic signs). I was reminded of this when I read this great article on academic productivity in times of crisis (one of a series that I've enjoyed). The author talks about it being one of our "professional responsibilities" to take stock of and address our own fears, so that we are not reacting to situations from this place of unacknowledged fear and emotion.

“The Body Keeps the Score” is the title to a bestselling book on traumatic stress (that I highly recommend – one of few nonfiction books I’ve read outside of work requirements). It’s also a reminder that our bodies may be remembering anniversaries we may not be cognitively remembering.

I wrote about this in week 51, near the first anniversary of the start of the pandemic. Near Thanksgiving 2021, OnBeing also hosted a podcast with the author, Bessel van der Kolk, to talk about how our bodies and brains respond to the unrelenting series of events of the last few years.